Ate Alprazolam at 2am so that I'm able to sleep. Really trying hard to sleep here.

Its' the 30th of July and August is few days away.

Wake the fuck up man.

Get your shit done.

Get inspired.

GET A JOB!

FIX YOUR LIFE!

PLAN YOUR MOVE!

CHASE YOUR DREAMS!!!

I'm calm man, this med is chill.

I maybe sleepy already.

Gotta go.

Much love.

Let the day begins!

Yo!

So, I almost forgot about the fact that I'm writing a journal on my ADHD journey but thanks to some random morning videos, I thought Jon Olsson and ADHD. Watched it halfway and suddenly I thought of this.

Here I am once again trying to tell you guys what's going up now.

You might wanna ask what happened to Day 2 that was supposed to be on the 27th? Hmm, long story short I had a wonderful Day 1 to a point I enjoyed till the morning. Maybe because I was really enjoying getting to know Mia, I forgot to sleep. It was beautiful, surprising and promising? One of that night I that I wished i was on medication waaayy waaayy earlier. Just love it. Things might be different ay? But nonetheless, i'm grateful for everything Allah have given to me, Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Okay, the medication is already worn off now and just some greens that makes me calm. I'll be babbling more if I don't I supposed.

The major difference when I'm on it, I don't lose my shit. Even how petty and annoying it could possibly be. I"ll be calm as fuck and handle shit nicely. All is well. Loving that shit to bits. WHY? Cause I'm writing about it, duh!! :P



Yes, that's the best thing that I love when I'm on it. I got shit done way better and way easier. Shit still goes messed up badly man. Timing is still out of tune and I would like to get that better. Sleeping pattern is still shit as hell. I gotta really try that Alprazolam thingy tonight. That's a promise, my friend.

Basically, I like it when I'm in control. It feels really good. I pray for more times like this in the future, Amin.

So the bad shit is, 27th happened way too fast and way too soon. Shit just got messed up badly. Didn't have to go that way. I lose my shit, she loses her shit. Things go way to cray and Zafrul came to save the day.


Ate my 2nd pills today at 5pm and shit works well. Like really good. Things go bat worst on yesterday and still got my emotion like a roller coaster. Called up Anissa for some advice and man she nagged the hell out of me for not taking the medication on time and as per prescribed. Okay sorry Doc will do better. Still learning lah.

Eh banyak nya bebel, takpe lah. Apa benda dalam otak ni bila ubat takde, dia cam paanjaaannggg je nak citer. Serious. Tak tipu!!!

As 'm writing now, its Sunday! Like morning, really morning at 6.57am!

The planned for the day is breakfast with Ben & Qiela and later on brunch with Nabil Alwi. Weird but true. Gotta ask a mate to help a mate, that's basically it. Mia Ng always he's the "To Go To person" when she needs some shit to straighten up. Would hurt getting a new breather ay?

Also, I noticed that it worked better when I write things down and it kinda loves it too.

Really got no more idea man. I'm super sleepy, but I really have to go through the day. Imma list shit down and hope for a greater day. Oh oh may checking out the Art Of Speed in Maeps still I'm nearby, but for sure it's packed as hell and hot as hell. Gotta fix the aircond and yada yada. OMG, to much things man.

Baby crawl ay? At least i understand it better now.




Rindu mama, papa. Tapi tu lah dia cam chill dulu and plan dulu.

Sampai masa, aku bagitau. Banyak sangat lah kat kepala ni. Tak tau mana satu nak handle dulu.

Tu lah, dulu rasa jugak asal lah aku ni pelik tak macam orang lain semua kan? Oh well, baru tau pun aku tak sama. Just a lil bit special. ;)

Hey!

It's been a while since i said hi.

So, after a whole lot of reading and researching, I gather my courage and went to take the 1st step.

The Hospital.

Dr Tan was the person who attended me at PPUM. Annoying place but i guess it'll be my 2nd home soon. Poured out as much as i can, as details as i can, as long as it was out from the chest. Among the best thing I've done in my life especially to someone that i called stranger.


I was given a choice between Ritalin or Concerta that can help me stimulate my brain to help me go through my day with less hassle and more effective. I choose the later one. Major difference of those 2 is Concerta would be a longer effect compared to Ritalin. Hey, if i'm doing it so lets do it right ay?

Took the medicine at 12. 20pm and i can already feel the changes in mere hour. I feel great. Nothing is there anymore in the brain. I feel super good, super happy like i was on drug. Hey, i am on drug but it's legal.;)
I was able to think clearer, knows what the fuck that need to be done and get my ass on the move after all this while.


Approximately 9 hours later, i'm starting to feel the effect slowly leaving the brain and the body department. It was like i just finished a complete cycle of cardio but without sweating. Weird but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do ay?

During this period, i felt a bit anxious but it was better than before. Those clear mind that i was enjoying earlier was gone. Heads was filled with parade of news, just like you see on the NYSE Wall Street Monitor. Man it was wild. I'm not sure how I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life.  Practice my breathing technique to enhance my mood and Walla, i completely understand what was with the medication and without it.
Inhaled some greens and hey,  i was a calmer, but not as much with the drugs in. Completely weird but true. YOU SEE, THIS SHIT IS REAL MAN.  Went for futsal and something familiar come back in the feelings. I was having "kacip" moment the whole time I was in the ring. I was super excited to be able to run, pass, sweating a good one and really giving out the best. Major improvement on the feeling. Gotta keep the vibes going.

At this moment, i'm really worn out. Supper and obviously sleep. Super stoke for day 2.

Good day people. It was a good one.

:)